Kinds of LOVE – Instinctive, Emotional and Conscious Love

Love as a feeling is of three kinds based on its source.

Its source could be unconscious Instinct, impulsive Emotion or Conscious mind.

Based on its origin, its purpose is defined and its purpose determines its life cycle.

Instinctive Love –

Instinctive love is biological in nature and its origin is unconscious drive.

Its only or primary role is biological, that is to create off springs.

The lover could not be aware of the unconscious drive that triggered the feeling of love.

For the same reason, instinctive love would not be in lover’s control.

Lover may think it is long lasting love but instinct love follows its movement.

Once the purpose of unconscious drive is served / failed,

the unconscious would lose interest and subsequently instinctive love itself would become stale and fade away.

This may leave the lover disillusioned about the love because the lover never knew the real cause behind instinct love.

Emotional Love –

Emotional love is not based on biology and can be even be anti-biological.

It is based on emotional affinity towards another.

It can happen between opposite sexes or the same sex.

Movement of emotional love is directly linked to the state of emotion that triggered it.

That is, when the emotion withers or change, emotional love will also go with it.

So emotional love can be short-lived.

And as well, when underlying emotion fades, the lover may become indifferent to the object of love.

It is also possible that object of love would become object of hatred for the lover.

In this case, the lover would become the slayer of the object that he loved.

Like instinct love, emotional love also creates.

In mythology, emotional love creates strange creatures.

But in the real world,

Emotional love may create off springs and by heightened emotion may create artistic works and the like.

Both, Instinct and Emotional love are utilitarian in nature.

They are self-centered and seek their own gratification or other gains.

So, as long as love aids in realization of their objectives,

love will remain intact, then / otherwise it will fade or turn to indifference/dislike.

Conscious Love –

Conscious love is rare because it requires conscious effort, intelligence and diligence.

Conscious love is not self-centered but it is centered on the object of love.  

The lover wishes and aids the object of love to attain its own wholeness by being its complement.

So, conscious love is non-utilitarian in nature.

But, in its primitive form, conscious love is also utilitarian in nature.

For instance,

We exercise conscious love while nurturing a garden or pet animals but only to serve our own purpose.

Only at higher level, it becomes non-utilitarian and elevating.

To do that, the lover has to make a conscious decision regarding love,

Then, its source cannot be unconscious instinct or transient and unstable emotion.

So, in the case of conscious love,

Lover is conscious of movement of love at every stage and in complete control;

nothing escapes from the lover’s awareness.

Lover is intelligent enough to identify the essence and nuances of the loved object.

Lover is diligent enough to accept pain and sustain the effort to nurture and elevate the object of love to its wholeness.

Generally, it is supposed that conscious love is reciprocated because lover’s sustained effort enters the subconscious of the other and brings about change.

Like Instinct and Emotional love, Conscious love also creates.

It creates a new being – rebirth of the lover and the object of love in unison

Conscious love may also create other things but creation of a new being is its plane.

Conscious love is possible only for humans.

Strangely it is very rare among humans,

Implying that human psyche is still dominated by instinct and utilitarian in its pursuit.