Saturday, June 13, 2015

'Pain is inevitable;suffering is optional' - is it so ?







It is an old saying attributed to Buddha by some and to Budai (Laughing Buddha) by some.
It doesn't matter because we are only going to look at its import.
The import is, though pain is inevitable, suffering is not.
Implying, one can chose not to suffer.
Now the question is,
Is it possible to chose not to suffer when we are in pain?
To answer that question we will have see what we mean by suffering.
From our experience we can see that suffering is not about sensation of pain but mentally enduring the pain.
So, pain may be physical or psychological, but suffering the pain is only mental/psychological.
Which means suffering is a state of mind.
If it is state of mind then it is left to us to decide how we suffer the pain mentally.

We can see the difference more clearly by analyzing a very simple situation.

For anyone to walk a long distance under hot sun would be painful in a way and state of mind would be that of suffering the heat.
But, if there is substantial reward at the end of the walk, then state of mind would undergo change.
Now, walking under the hot sun won't be perceived as suffering under the heat but only as a difficulty.
The state of mind changes entirely, now the mind is ready to accept the pain but doesn't suffer it mentally.
That is, the mind chooses not to suffer and so names it as difficulty.
Though quantum of pain remains the same but perception of suffering undergoes a change.
This clearly shows that pain is a fact and suffering is only a state of mind.
So the saying 'pain is inevitable; suffering is optional' is a factual statement.
The situation stated above may be too simple.
But, one can extrapolate it to more difficult issues involving physical or psychological pain and still find logically, suffering is only a state of mind.
Of course, it may not be easy and not even possible to practice it under all situations and end mental suffering.
But, people like Buddha/Budai always talks in terms of absolute, one can't derive relief or relative comfort from them.

So, at the least this is the direction one has take to gain insight into suffering and understand the anatomy of suffering.
We would be able free ourselves from suffering to the extent of insight and understanding we have about it.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Inferiority Feeling and Complex - The Difference


Sense of inferiority can come only with comparison and comparison is unavoidable.
Because, that is only way we can know where we stand in terms of any development index.
Here,
Comparison that give rise to sense of inferiority can be with general social parameters or with another individual.
This inferiority feeling as such is positive and act as a measure and also as a motivating factor for upward mobility.
But, one can also develop inferiority complex which is a different thing altogether.
This often happens when comparison is with a particular individual rather than with general social parameters.
And, unlike inferiority feeling, inferiority complex is negative and a demotivating factor at the least.
The simple thumb rule to find whether one has inferiority feeling or inferiority complex is -
If one feels inferior and also feel inspired / motivated by the other's success then what one has inferiority feeling.
Instead, if one feel inferior, jealous, left out and disheartened at the success of another then what one has is inferiority complex.
Anyway,
Inferiority complex is a complex issue as the name suggests.
What is stated above is vastly simplified and is only to highlight the difference.
Psychologists consider inferiority complex as a primary complex with numerous secondary level manifestations.
So, inferiority complex need not be just demotivating but can also lead to other serious psychological problems.
It may affect one's personality in myriad ways.
Internally one may become depressed, anxious, withdrawn and externally one may become aggressive and even anti-social.

So, if one feels inferior, one has to find out whether it is a 'feeling' or 'complex'.
Added to the above thumb rule,
One should also observe one’s own thoughts and the motives.
Obvious indicator of inferiority complex is the presence of ill intention towards the other with whom one makes comparison.

For those who have serious behavior problems because of the complex,
it requires expert psychologist to analyze the root cause and suggest therapy and treatments.
At milder levels, if one is wakeful and become aware of its presence and danger, one can step out of it.

Moreover,
Inferiority complex not only destroys an individual but also causes havoc in the society as well.
Horrible things like random shootouts are outcome of this mental state.
For instance, in recent times, a youth randomly killed many and killed himself leaving a note which said 'Now the world knows who I am'.

Unfortunately inferiority complex is not given due attention as a social problem but treated mostly as an individual problem.
This trend has to change to eliminate this seemingly innocuous but dangerous mental state from the society.
To do that, first one has to clearly distinguish between inferiority feeling and complex because they have opposite effects in an individual and opposite impact on the society. 

Friday, May 8, 2015

Do we like or love?



Do we like or love?
What is the difference between ‘like’ and ‘love’?
As the word LOVE have become too common, we hardly distinguish between like and love.
Regarding that, Buddha gives a simple and profound example.

'If you like a flower, you will pluck it, If you love the flower, you will water it'

It is very clear with respect to a flower but how does this example translate into human relationship.
How do one know whether one likes a person or love the person?
As far this example goes,
Liking a person is akin to plucking a flower.
In this case one will be using the person like a plucked flower that is as a source of fun/pleasure/comfort and so on.
The person would be treated like an object of utility and as a possession.
One would not pay attention or recognize the person's intrinsic feelings/aspirations.
But, will only try to mold the person according to one's whims and fancies.
That is what one does with a plucked flower - denying its natural life.
One would do the same to the person one likes and may claim it as love.
So, this likable relationship is inherently selfish and destructive to the other.

On the other hand, if one love a person
One would not treat the person as an object but as a subject with his/her own mind and aspirations.
One would not mold the person according to one's fancies but nurture him/her to realize their own potential and aspirations.
This loving relationship is like watering the flower, so that the person can bloom in his/her life in a natural way like the flower.

So, we don't kill what we love, we only kill what we like.

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